


Confessions

by H50sm



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 17:27:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12325533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H50sm/pseuds/H50sm
Summary: “What you doing back?” Steve asked as he looked at the breakfast spread.Danny smiled. “I never left, I told you I’d watch over you.”Steve choked on a sob, and hid his face for a moment. Pretending water was dropping onto it from his hair. “Thanks Danny.”“Yeah, enjoy some food huh?” Danny said down. Realizing the real thank you from Steve. It wasn’t for breakfast, it was for staying with him through the night.





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me over the weekend and I had to get it out. I did proof as I went along but I'm sure there are mistakes, they are all mine and Im sorry. I've been looking for a BETA for a while, with nothing. Anyways, enjoy and let me know what you think!
> 
> This takes place in each season except for season 7, 8. Each case should be pretty clear for you.

2010

 

Steve sat against the white cabinets in his kitchen. His breathing was abnormal and he couldn’t focus on anything in front of him. His knees were up, pressed against his belly, his wrists sat on his knees letting his hands hand down. It had been a long few days, one that he’d like to forget. But he can’t. Danny was in danger, he was sick and it was all his fault. He should have followed his partner, he should have kept an eye on him. It wasn’t often he had panic attacks, he was trained to keep cool under pressure. But with the mix of emotions and the mix of adrenalin he was crashing and he wasn’t sure how to fix it. He heard his front door open, and then close. He snapped his head up, wide eyes and nervous. He didn’t want anyone to see him this way. See him weak and vulnerable. 

“Steve?” Danny yelled out. 

Steve let the breath he had been holding out, it came out shaky and uneven. He locked eyes with Danny as his friend walked into the kitchen. Danny was looking much better but he was still weak, he’d be off work for at least a week. “Whoa….okay….buddy. You alright?” Danny asked as he came closer. 

Steve nodded and looked down, ashamed of his weakness. Ashamed of Danny finding him his way. 

Danny frowned and sat down, leaning against the island. He mirrored Steve’s sitting position. “Okay, what gives Super SEAL?”

Steve swallowed thickly. 

“Look, Steven.….if you uh…if you want this partnership to work….” Danny began, choosing his words carefully. “….I need you to uh…trust me a little okay? I know you’ve…um….been thought a lot these past ten months or so, but I’m here okay? You can trust me.”

And just like that the flood gates opened. Steve was sobbing so hard he could hardly breathe, his head hung low. Pain ripping through his chest, tears flowing from his eyes like the tap was turned on. Danny sighed, leaned forward a little and placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder. Steve cried for the moment he saw his best friend, slumped against that arch, gasping for air. Trying to breathe, trying not to give into the sudden onset of pain. Steve cried for his father, he cried for all the times he didn’t come home to visit his Dad. Or tried to reach out to Mary. He cried for the service members that died, under his command. Or ones that he served with. He cried for everything that he couldn’t control. Danny kept his hand on Steve, trying to help ground him. Trying to impress on Steve’s mind that he was there that he wasn’t going to leave him. Not now. Not ever. After several long moments Steve finally got his breath under control, he wiped at his tears and looked at Danny. A pained look on his friends face. And a few stray tears falling from his eyes. Steve was confused, why was Danny crying?

“Why are you crying?” Steve asked in whisper.

Danny pulled his hand back and wiped at his own tears. “Because you are my friend and I feel your pain, whatever it is.”

Steve sat there with his mouth open. Could Danny really care? He looked down at his hands, like they were the most interesting thing in the world at that moment. “I was scared the other day when you ummm…..when you were exposed.”

Danny nodded his understanding. “So was I bud.”

“But I was really scared Danny, I’ve lost so much over the years.” Steve shook his head. “So much. I couldn’t bear to loose you too. You are my best friend.”

Danny smiled at Steve’s confession. “Mine too.” He shrugged. 

“When I was bringing Anton Hesse in, I was in charge of that whole mission. I was told by my commander that it was basically a black op. It didn’t exist in the eyes of the military. If my partner and I were caught then the military wouldn’t come rescue us, they wouldn’t even aknoledge we existed.”

“Shit, Steve…I didn’t know it was like that.”

Steve nodded his head. “I understood, but when my friend Freddie Hart and I went over there things were text book, ya know? It was flowing good, we were getting close to the Hesse and when we got there, it was fine. Until Freddie got shot, and it all went down hill from there. It was either, compermise the entire mission we both get shot and killed or he covers my ass and I get Hesse out of there.”

“What happened?”

Steve let out a breath, as if to continue on. “Freddie had my back and covered me. He was shot and killed, I watched the whole thing from the mirrors of the truck I took. But I made it to the rendezvous point and from there we were transporting Hesse to a Military airfield in South Korea, but even that went wrong.”

“How?” Danny asked, getting up and walking to the fridge. He pulled out a case of beer and sat back down. “What happened?” He handed Steve a Kona beer. 

“Well, as we were driving along in the transport Anton said something to me about how I should answer the phone because I didn’t talk to my father nearly enough.” Steve took a long drink, and noted Danny’s what in the actual fuck expression. Steve nodded and held the beer loosely in his hands. “Yeah, so I answered and my father called me Champ, which never does….which lead me to the tool box…anyways….my father was telling me that someone wanted to talk to me and that’s when Victor got on the phone and wanted me to let his brother go. Which I denied of course and my father said he could talk me into it, that I’d listen to him. So my Dad told me that he loved me and not to do whatever it is that they wanted.”

“Wow.”

“That’s not half of it Danno.” Steve said softly, he took another drink of his beer. “So that’s when we were over taken by a team, which I later realized was Wo Fat’s men. And as I escaped the over turn Humvee, I realized a ton of my men that I was in charge of was being killed left and right and Anton got away from me but when I pulled a gun on him he raised his weapon and fired at me but I got to him first. I killed him. And when Victor called me back, I he knew his brother was killed and that’s when he killed my father.”

“Holy shit Steve, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize.” 

“It’s okay…things happen for a reason right?”

“Yeah, listen….was this classified?”

Steve nodded. 

“I don’t tell a soul Steve. I promise.”

“I know that Danno, I believe in you. I trust you.” Steve said playing with the paper on the beer bottle. 

“Is this you breaking down, or is this totally abnormal?”

Steve shrugged. “I’m not sure. Maybe its just a one time thing.”

“If it’s not Steve, you can always count on me to be there okay?”

“I know…….”

Danny nodded. “Good, just know I’m always here. You wanna come have pizza with me, or I can order in?”

“I think I’m actually tired Danno. You can stay if you want to and order food, but I think I need to head up to bed.” Steve finally got up off the floor and helped Danny up. “Thanks for listening to me.”

“Anytime Steve. Go up, I’ll stay a while so you can sleep okay?”

“What you are going to watch over me tonight?”

Danny smiled. “Will it help you sleep to have someone be on guard?”

Steve smiled sheepishly. “Yeah.”

“Then I will be on watch tonight, you go get some sleep and I will watch over you tonight Steve.”

Steve leaned in and hugged Danny. It felt strange but it was welcomed on both sides. “Night Danny.”

“Night Super SEAL.”

 

Danny finished off a few beers and a large pizza by himself while he sat on the couch with the tv down low and the lights off. Watching over Steve like he promised. He had heard Steve dreaming a few times that night, calling out for Freddie at first. But then he was calling out for Danny, worried about him when he was poisoned. He didn’t get any sleep that night but he was happy that Steve did, because he was looking a little worse for the wear. His entire body was exhausted and he had dark circles under his eyes. With everything that was happening at 5-0, Danny knew that his friend needed to rest. He had finally gotten up around six am, thankful it was a Saturday and thankful they had no active cases. He started coffee and waited until he heard Steve coming down the stairs, he stood up and walked into the kitchen from the dining room and watched Steve walk out across the grass and into the sand. His morning run. He was sure that his feelings towards Steve changed some since last night, of care and concern. He loved him as a friend and wished him all the best and that was the most important thing. Sure he realized they had a connection that seemed weird but hey, he’d take anything these days. He started breakfast for the man, knowing he’d be hungry when he returned. 

 

Steve cut through the water quickly and effortlessly. His strokes even and strong, something he was glad he learned in BUDS was to hold his breath for long periods of time. He couldn’t believe he had told Danny what he did last night, something he would have never, ever done before. But he trusted him and he was easy to talk to. He was thankful for Danny, he didn’t think he stayed long but the effort was nice. He knew he had bad dreams but he at least felt rested. He wasn’t sure why he felt a connection to Danny but he sure was glad he had one. It had been a long time since he felt a connection with anyone. He swam for over an hour when he realized he needed to head back up, so he swam back towards shore thinking of Danny. He huffed at himself as he got out, but he squinted as he looked up on his lanai. His eyes were not deceiving him. Danny was standing there, placing items on the table. He was shocked, he shook his head and he picked up his towel and quickly dried off his hair and body, as he inched closer to Danny. 

“What you doing back?” Steve asked as he looked at the breakfast spread. 

Danny smiled. “I never left, I told you I’d watch over you.”

Steve choked on a sob, and hid his face for a moment. Pretending water was dropping onto it from his hair. “Thanks Danny.” 

“Yeah, enjoy some food huh?” Danny said down. Realizing the real thank you from Steve. It wasn’t for breakfast, it was for staying with him through the night.

 

2011

 

Steve sat outside, his entire body shaking. He couldn’t shop the tears from rolling down his face. He tried to help, he tried to do what he could but in the end Chin’s wife was murdered in cold blood and Kono almost died herself. Steve heard foot steps behind him and knew it was Danny so he didn’t bother hiding the fact that he was in fact in terrible shape. Danny came up behind him and squeezed Steve’s shoulders. He knew his friend was there to help him but in that moment all he could think about was one of his team members back from his SEAL days. The moment they found out his wife had been murdered, his buddy was sent home and they were shipped off to Texas to figure out what had happened. But seeing how broken Chin was, brought back every terrible memory to the surface. He had a beer next to him, but he hadn’t drank it. He was sure it had gone warm. But what he needed even more was the warm feel of Danny’s hand. He longed to feel this for several days now, he shook his head. He hated how death followed him. 

 

“A team guy, his wife was murdered because of a case we were working.”

Danny sighed and moved to sit down in the other chair. “Jesus, that’s terrible.”

Steve nodded his head. “Yeah, it was really shitty. We were working a terrorist cell in Iraq and he got word that his wife had been murdered and when the local PD had told him about what was left at the house he knew it was connected to our mission. So he was flown home but within a week my team was there working the case.”

“Because it was a military matter?” Danny asked pulling a beer from the cooler. 

“Yeah, we figured out who had done it and we executed a raid. We uncovered a plot to take down the president.”

“So, you did good my friend. I’m sorry for his wife.”

“Me too, this whole thing with Chin and Malia is just bringing up those memories.” Steve confessed. “I….I don’t know how to deal with it.” Steve’s breath hitched as he started to calm down. 

Danny smiled at Steve. “You are doing a good job of it babe, you are talking about it.”

“Yeah I guess so.” Steve looked down at his hands.

“What else are you thinking?”

“Why do you listen to me? I mean, I put you though hell and get you shot at on a daily basis….” Steve looked over at Danny. His friends eyes sparkling back at him. “….why do you stay? Why do you listen?”

“Steve, I came to Korea because you are my friend. And I love you.” He scooted forward on his seat. “You showed so much concern for when Grace was taken, we are best friends. We have a very unshakable bound. Nothing will get though this okay?”

Steve nodded his understanding, not willing to trust his voice in that moment. He leaned forward and picked a fresh beer from the cooler and twisted the top off. He extended his arm waiting for Danny to clink the brown necks together, which he did readily. Steve felt like he was making headway in his own mind, not always feeling so trapped not feeling so overwhelmed. He felt like at time he could finally breathe. His chest lightened up a little bit and he took a deep breath. He wondered when he noticed Danny’s eyes and wondered when he started to call him babe. Steve felt their relationship changing for a while now, they were close….almost to close. But there was Catherine. She was around more these days. And then there was everything going on in Danny’s life. With Grace and Rachel. He looked over at Danny and noticed how the sun light from the sun set was shining down on his friend, making the blonde locks look more softer. His skin was looking very tan, Danny looked relaxed. 

“How have you been doing with everything that’s happened this year?” Steve asked Danny. 

“What do you mean?” Danny looked over and met Steve’s eyes. 

“Ya know……what I mean.”

“I’m better. I’ve gotten to spend more time with Grace since the baby came long, which has been great. Rachel and I are actually talking without screaming at each other. I’m upset the baby isn't mine but I…I’m okay…the thing with you in Korea…..that nearly killed me though.”

Steve nodded his head, tears starting to fall again. “You were the best thing my eyes had ever laid eyes on when you lifted that flap.”

Danny choked out a laugh and cry. “Me too buddy, God……I never thought I’d be able to find you.”

“But you did, you came for me.” Steve looked over at Danny with a small smile on his face, his heart warming at Danny’s words. 

Danny smiled and looked at Steve. “Babe, I’ll always come after you. Don’t worry about that. I told you, I’m yours.” Danny’s heart was hammering in his chest. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Where did that come from, Danny wondered. He looked right into Steve’s eyes and all he saw was love. Danny pushed the feelings aside and looked away. 

Steve cocked his head to the side. I’m Danny’s. He wasn’t sure why that came up but he’d deal with those feelings later, alone. He turned his attention back to the fading sunset. They sat for a while enjoying the calming of the waves crashing on the shore and the birds going to rest for the night. They eventually made their way inside where they ordered take out and ate dinner in front of the TV. Danny left shortly after their movie ended and went home. He couldn’t stop thinking about how his feelings and emotions were being pulled closer to Steve. He wondered what it meant. He wondered if he could sort it all out. It seemed like they were pretty damn close, always there when the other needed help or just to talk. Danny climbed into bed that night dreaming of Steve and wondering what he would be like in bed. Back home, Steve laid in bed tossing and turning wondering why his feelings for Danny were turning different. He noticed little things about him, and when Danny told him that he loved him, Steve wanted to melt. But he felt the butterflies in his stomach and he liked it. He sighed, this was to complicated for him. He didn’t want to keep up with all of this. He didn’t sleep much that night because every time he did he wondered more about his partner, things he should never ever wonder. Like what he would taste like, or what he would feel like. Steve cussed himself out and just figured it was to exhausted to think straight. Steve gave up on sleep and tossed the blankets back. He got dressed and headed down to his truck. He got in and started to drive. He picked up his cell and dialed Chin’s number. 

“Chin, you awake?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah.” Chin said into the phone. 

“Whatcha doin?” 

“Nothing. You?”

Steve smiled, he could hear the TV playing. “Look, I know its like two am…but I’m heading to that diner thats over by your house. Wanna meet for coffee?”

“You bet, see you in ten.”

Steve smiled and hung up. And pulled into the diner’s parking lot. He got out and walked in, ordering two coffee’s and two slices of pie. He picked up the news paper and waited for Chin to walk in. He heard footsteps a few minutes later and looked up to find Chin. Steve smiled and slid the creamer near his friend and handed him the sports section. They didn’t talk, they didn’t need to. Steve felt at ease being with Chin, and hoped that his friend felt the same way. 

 

2012

 

Steve sat on the transport back from South Korea. Freddie laying in a pine box before him. He couldn’t help but relive the memories of that day that his best friend had died. He wondered if there was anything he could have done that was different. He wondered if he should have stayed back and helped fight the guys that were shooting at them. He wondered if he had done that if Freddie would have been able to meet his little girl. Steve sighed. He hadn’t slept in days, he was tired. That’s all. He felt a warm hand on his knee, he glanced over and Catherine’s brown eyes was staring into his soul. Steve nodded his head and looked back at the pine box. He wanted to reach out and feel Freddie one last time, wanted to look at that stupid grin on his face. Steve shook his head and thought better of it. Tomorrow they would be laying his friend to rest, but tonight Steve would stand near his friend; protecting him. Guarding him. He didn’t realize they were descending down, he was so lost in his head. He couldn’t reach the top. 

“Steve?” Catherine said. “They want to take the remains now.”

Steve looked up and realized the back was open and several uniforms were standing there waiting for a command. Steve nodded his head quickly. “Right yes, okay.” He took on the safety belt and stood up, helping to carry his friend to a hanger. As they exited the plane there were several service members looking on, saluting. Steve fought back the tears that were threatening to fall. He saw his old Commander Joe White, and with him were his team. And Danny. He couldn’t look, so he focused on his task at hand. 

 

Steve stayed all night long, in a chair watching over Freddie. Talking to him, mostly about Danny. He wasn’t sure what else to do. But he hoped that he would find the answer and soon. The next day, Catherine brought him his dress blues and he showered, changed and shaved at the base. Steve had just given Freddie’s daughter his dog tags and stood up, tears forming in his eyes. When he looked up that’s when he saw it. Chin, Kono and Danny. He choked out a sob but kept it together long enough to watch them lower Freddie in to the ground. After he found himself walking towards his truck, he needed to get home. He was dead on his feet, all he wanted to do was sleep. If the night mares didn’t come. 

“Steve!” A sweet voice called out. 

He turned around and saw Catherine. “Hey.”

“Hey Sailor, want some company?”

Steve fondled the keys in his hand. He wasn’t sure how to tell Catherine no. He didn’t want her company. He wanted to grief in private. He glanced around and saw Chin and Kono getting into his car. Danny was close to them, saying something. He looked back at Catherine. “Cath, I appreciate the offer but…” Steve looked down at the keys. “….I…I think I just…….want to be alone.” 

“Oh.” Catherine looked down. “Okay….I understand. You probably need the sleep.”

I nodded. I could tell she was let down. “I’m sorry Cath, I just…..I need to decompress ya know?”

“I know.” She nodded. “I’m heading back to the ship for a month tour, let me now if you want to catch up for lunch tomorrow.”

“Sure, I’ll call.”

Catherine smiled and leaned in. She went to kiss his lips, but he turned his head last second and she got his cheek. He tried to laugh it off. “Sorry, I’m just….I need to go okay?” Steve didn’t wait to hear what she had to say because he turned around and got into his truck. He fired it up and sped off, not bothering to buckle himself in. 

By the time he got home it was nearly dark. He drove around for a while, not wanting to be home where the ghosts of his past would haunt him. He got himself up the steps and tore off his dress blues laying them neatly on the chair in the corner of the room. He got into bed but couldn’t sleep. He kept remembering the whole mission, he thought he was over this. He couldn’t stop thinking about the time when Freddie said he was hit. And then when he saw the guy that shot Freddie his blood was running hot, all he saw was red. He wanted to kill the son of a bitch. He slightly smiled when he remembered that he heard the grenade go off, it was a little bit of sweet revenge. 

He closed his eyes, and what felt like six or seven hours, he finally turned over and realized it had only been about two hours. “Fuck.” He mumbled getting up and pulling on the sweats and the SEAL tank top he wore before he left. He got down the steps and stuffed his feet into a pair of slippers picked up his badge, and gun and keys, walking out of the house. He got in, he drove around for an hour before he found himself parked in front of Danny’s house. No lights were on but he couldn’t stop himself from getting out of the truck and walked up the path to his friend’s house. He put the key into the lock and turned it, he stepped in and it smelled like something warm. It smelled like Danny. Smelled like home. 

“Danny?” Steve said, loud enough for his friend to hear. 

He heard a door open and feet shuffling into the living-room. “Steve, babe….what’s wrong?”

Steve looked at Danny and he sighed, shrugged his shoulders. “I…um…I couldn’t….”

“Let’s go Big Guy….” Danny said as he moved closer to Steve….taking his hand into the warmth of his own and Danny was dragging him down the hallway. 

Steve drug his feet on autopilot, he wasn’t thinking much anymore. But Danny got him into his bed and covered up. Danny got into bed on the other side and went to turn the TV off. 

“No, please. Danno, keep it on.”

“Isn’t that McGarrett house rule number 7, no TV on after midnight?”

“Yeah but tonight, maybe it will drowned out the voices in my own head.”

“Are you gonna be okay Steve?” Danny asked. 

“Eventually…I guess.”

Silence filled the room as Danny watched tv and he assumed Steve was sleeping. But after a while he realized the bed was shaking. He sat up a little and looked over at Steve. He found his friend sobbing. He sighed and didn’t think anything else but to wrap Steve up in his arms. Steve cried, his face in Danny’s neck. Danny rocked his friend back and fourth. He needed Steve to let it out, and to let go. 

“I killed the man Danny that killed Freddie, at first I was happy about it but now….now I feel guilty.”

“It’s okay…..shhh….Danno’s got you okay?”

 

It took Steve a while to fall asleep but Danny knew right then and there that holding Steve in his bed was far to much for his senses to handle. He was in love with Steve. How this even happened he wasn’t sure. He didn’t know what to do, so he just laid there holding on to Steve. Helping him through his night mares all night long, telling him everything was going to be okay. 

Steve opened his eyes the next morning and was looking right into Danny’s blue ones. He swallowed hard. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself, did you get any rest?”

Steve shrugged. “Some, but you already know that.”

Danny nodded. “I called the team and told them you weren't coming into today. And Catherine has been calling you all morning.”

“Shit, I’m supposed to meet her for lunch.” Steve moaned as he sat up. 

“Well you better get a move on…”

Steve moved towards the door and stopped half way. “Hey Danno?”

Danny looked up at Steve. “Yeah?”

Steve smiled. “Thanks, for everything.”

“Anytime.” Danny said sadly. It tore him up that Steve was going to see Catherine. He would have to figure out how to get though this. 

 

Steve sat at the table as Catherine walked into the diner, he smiled at her but his heart wasn’t in it. “Hey.”

“Sailor, did you sleep okay?”

Steve shook his head no. “Not so much, apparently I was having bad dreams all night.”

“Apparently?”

He nodded. “I slept at Danny’s, couldn’t really be alone.”

“I would have stayed with you.”

“I didn’t want to be at my house.” Steve said blankly.   
“Right, sorry. I forgot.” Catherine said as she picked up the menu, mostly to hide her face from Steve. 

 

Steve sat there, wondering why on earth he wanted to be closer to Danny rather than Catherine. He was feeling comfortable with Danny, so much so that he wanted to be near him constantly. He had to figure out why these feelings were coming up, cause these were normal things best friends did right?

 

2013 A

 

Steve sat on his couch totally spaced out. Catherine had left a while ago. And he was left to his own mind, again. He had told Danny that he loved him, twice. Their bond had grown a lot in the last eight hours. He found out that Danny was afraid of small spaced and that he got nervous in scary situations. But he learned from himself that he was in fact head over heals in love with Danny. He worried about what the doctor said, he didn’t want it to seem like he was being pushy or anything so he kept his phone away from his hands but near by in case Danny needed something. And what’s worse he was going to head to Maui with Melissa. Steve sighed. He wished it was him that Danny would be touching, kissing making love to. Steve shook his head, what the hell was wrong with him. They were just stuck in a ton of concrete for hours, he should be asleep. He should be resting, but he couldn’t stop thinking of Danny. He almost lost him, but most of all he almost didn’t get to tell him that he loved him. He smiled to himself, at least he got to tell Danny twice. Even if his best friend didn’t know that he honestly meant it. He stood up and walked over to the door, he needed to go see Danny. He opened the door and found his blond partner with his hand raised like he was going to knock. “Danny…..”

“Steve…..”

“Come in…come in…..why are you here?”

“I wanted to see you.”

Steve smiled. “Me too.” He moved aside to Danny could walk in and sit down on the couch. “Are you okay, what did the doctor say?” Steve closed the door and sat next to Danny. 

“He said I can’t to to Maui for a while and that I need to heal up here, hit PT a few times and then im good to go, Grace was worried about you.”

Steve smiled. “I love her, you know that right?”

”I know, and she loves you.”

“I…uh…I was thinking we could head up to bed?”

“Uh, sorry I don’t think I can do the stairs.” Danny said with a slight blush across his face.

Steve smiled, got up and ran up the stairs he came back a few minutes later with a blanket and two pillows. “Then bed can come to you.” Steve handed Danny a pillow. “You need to rest.”

“I’ll lean on you.” Danny said with a smile. 

“Any time buddy, anytime.” Steve said as he sat on the couch, legs parted, and waited for Danny to lay down between his legs. Which he did with out question. Steve threw the blanket over them as Danny hugged the pillow to his stomach and laid his head in Steve’s lap. They both fell asleep like that and stayed asleep for the entire night, wrapped around one another. Protecting one another, and keeping one another safe. Their feelings be damned, they both needed this night, needed each other.

 

2013B

 

Steve laid in the bed, the CIA and Military guys had just left and threatened Steve. He looked over at Danny the best that he could, he couldn’t believe he had come after him, come to protect him. To save him. Danny took Steve’s hand and nodded his head. “It was close Danny, to close.”

Danny swallowed hard. “I know, I heard the SEAL team telling their commander what happened and how they found you.”

“Oh.”

“Listen, we need to get home okay? A transport is leaving in twenty minutes, can you walk?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, help me up Danny.”

Danny helped Steve up and got him to a jeep where it took them to the transport. Once there they got loaded up in the plane and headed right to Germany, where they took a commercial flight to LA and then a flight to Oahu. Danny got Steve into the house and promised to make him some food so he could take some pain pills. Steve’s phone started to ring..he answered it right away. 

“Hello? Catherine?”

“Hey.”

“Ohhh…Catherine. Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine. Hassan’s men were searching the area and I had to lay low until they were gone.”

“What about the kids?”

“They’re safe, they’re safe.”

“Was Najibe with them?”

“No. No, but I got a lead on where he might be. I think they might have taken him across the boarder.” 

“You’re gonna go after him, aren't you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I have to. And- and I can’t come back until I find him.

“Okay, well, that’s fine. That’s fine. I'm gonna come back, all right. I’m gonna come back. We can do this together. I’ll help you find him.”

“Steve no.”

“Catherine.”

“No, Steve listen to me. You’ve helped me enough, okay? Its better for me to do this alone. I can keep a low profile that way. Its just easier.” 

Steve sat there completely stunned. 

“You know I’m right.”

Steve pulled the phone from his ear and sighed, he was scared of what all of this meant.   
“You understand why I need to do this, don’t you?”

Steve pulled himself together and tried not to let the tears fall. “Yeah, of course I do. You just promise me…..”

“I promise you I’ll be careful. I’ll be careful, okay?” Her emotions were getting the best of her.

Silence stretched out for several long moments between the two of them, neither really knowing what to say. 

“I love you, ya know.” Steve finally said. 

“I love you, too.”

“Okay, all-right good luck Cath.”

“Thanks. Aloha.”

“Aloha.” Steve said as tears sprang from his eyes. He hung the phone up and just stared at it.

 

Danny walked in carrying two plate of food and to beers. “Alright buddy, I got some food. I can crash on the couch if you want, I don’t really want you to be alone with the injuries that you have.”

Steve looked up, fresh tears in his eyes. “She’s staying.”

“Who?” Danny asked as he set the plates down. 

“Catherine, she isn’t coming back.”

“Christ….” Danny said as he bent down in front of Steve. “…I’m so sorry.” And he was. He was sorry, because he had Melissa now. And Steve was free. Damnit to hell.

“She’s abandoning me.” Steve looked down at his feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

“Steve, I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”

“But that’s how it feels Danny. Everyone has always left me. They have always found a way to get out of being with me and she found her way.” Steve looked up at Danny, his eyes searching his friends. 

“Except for you.”

Danny swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

The air was thick, it seemed harder to breathe. Steve leaned forward, he dropped the phone, letting it fall to the floor with a thud. He wrapped his hand around Danny’s neck and pulled him closer. “Danny….”

“Steve…I…” Danny swallowed again. 

Steve lowered his head more, they were breathing the same air. Their lips were almost touching, almost. The loud ringing of Steve’s cell phone started going off, making them both jump back. Their breathing was hard and fast, Danny looked at the phone and picked it up, pushing the answer button. 

“McGarretts phone.” He said softly, his voice was hardly there. He nodded his head. “Yes, he’s right here.” Danny handed Steve his cell phone. 

Steve accepted it but kept his eyes trained on Danny’s blue ones. “Yeah?” Steve nodded. “I’ll send down Chin and Kono……yeah just got back. I’m a little worse for the wear….I’ll be okay in a few days. Yes, sir. Thank you.” Steve hung up the phone and looked at Danny. “I was asked to take the weekend off by Denning.”

Danny nodded. “Yeah, so I’m going to shove off…” He stood up. 

“You aren’t staying?” Steve asked standing up. 

“I…uhmmm….I gotta go do a few things. I may have to help Chin and Kono, I’ll call them. But you should eat, only take the pills in bed.” Danny handed Steve the bag of medication and walked over towards the door. “Call if you need anything though, okay? I’ll be here in a instant.”

Steve nodded. He knew that things would be different now. He knew that it wouldn’t ever be the same again. He had known Danny for four years, and now he isn’t sure what exactly is going to happen between the two of them. He took his food up to his bedroom, he showered and got into bed. He ate his food and took his pills, hoping he’d forget that he almost did. He almost kissed Danny. He closed his eyes and let tears escape out. 

 

Danny sped off to his house, he was terrified. He was in love with Steve. He shook his head as he parked his car. He had already called Chin and he told them if needed he’d help but other wise he’d come in the next morning to help. He was in love with Steve? What the fuck. He sighed, this was so off. He isn't supposed to be in love with his partner, let one his best friend. He got out of his car and got into the house he started to strip his clothes off and headed right to the bedroom, he got naked and climbed into bed. His entire body was shaking. He wasn’t gay there was no way, but he was in love with Steve. He didn’t know what it all meant but he knew his relationship with Steve would never be the same again. 

 

2015

 

Steve smiled softly as he sat out on the lanai, his Ohana around him. Danny wasn’t there so there was that. He looked down and sighed. When they busted into the room where Wo Fat and Steve had dueled it out and Steve shot him in the head, he was so confused. He felt like his entire life was a lie. But when he saw Danny he knew everything would be okay. When Danny touched him, it was the first time in weeks. He called him babe and sat in the hospital room waiting for Steve to wake up the entire time. He never left him. Grace came to visit and slept with him, he remembered that and he remembered her but everything else was off. He still had a hard time remembering things. Stupid things. He remembered he was in love with Danny. And they had been in therapy for the last two months, mandated by the Governor. Steve closed his eyes, he missed the closeness of Danny. He missed everything about him. How was he going to deal with this. Survive. He shook his head and looked up, opening his eyes. He was looking into the most beautiful eyes he had ever laid eyes on. Danny. He smiled softly. 

“Hey Danny.”

“Hey, how you uh…how you feeling?” Danny asked. “You look better.”

Steve nodded. “Better, little weak still but I’ve been cleared for work.”

“That’s good. Can you be at our appointment tomorrow?” He asked. 

“Yeah, that’s no problem. Sorry I missed it the other day, I know it’s important.”

Danny shook his head. “You had a good excuse Steve, you were having issues.”

“Yeah.”

“So uhm, you staying for dinner?” Steve asked softly. 

“No, I get the kids tonight. Kind of a last minute thing, but it’s okay right?”

“Yeah, maybe we can do lunch tomorrow….if uh…you don’t have other plans.”

“Possibly Steve, I’m taking Amber to Maui this weekend remember?”

Fuck, he forgot all about her, but he did forget that Danny was going to Maui. “No, sorry. I don’t recall that.”

“No worries, we will do something good though, yeah? I just wanted to stop by and check in on you.”

Steve smiled. “Thanks for that. I appreciate it. Tell the kids hello for me.”

“Anytime.” Danny stood up and walked back inside.

 

Steve sighed and looked up, Lou, Chin and Kono coming towards him. “Hey guys, I’m gonna go lay down. Stay though, I don’t care.”

“You okay?” Lou asked. 

Steve nodded. “Yup, just tired.”

Steve went inside and climbed the stairs. He was tired and more than done with life at the moment. He wanted to sleep and just be done. Steve laid in bed, his heart aching from pain. Not from being kidnapped and tortured by Wo Fat but from not having Danny close like he use to. He missed his friend, he missed everything about him. He hoped that one day they could get back to the way things used to be, he needed Danny in his life. He knew by taking that chance to kiss him would have ruined everything but he kept telling himself that he read the whole situation wrong and it was his fault. Danny however, sat alone in his house after the kids had gone to bed. He would normally be with Steve, watching TV on the couch probably cuddling. He didn’t know why Steve never tried to kiss him again or even bring it up. All he knew is that their relationship had really gone down hill over the last six months or so. He watched the TV program, completely out of it. Danny sighed, turned the TV off and walked down to his bedroom and got into bed. He remembered the time Steve had come over and got into bed with him, he never told Steve but that night was the best he had ever had since he moved to the island. Danny pulled a pillow down from the other side of the bed and held on to it. Wishing that the could just work past their issues and at least be friends. 

 

Over the last half a year, Danny and Steve’s relationship kept getting worse. They fought like cats and dogs and always seemed better off working with the other team members. Kono, Chin and Lou felt the tension. But for Steve it was worse. Just when he thought things were doing okay, Catherine showed back up out of no where, just in time for Kono’s wedding. Things were going well, he bought a ring was going to ask her to marry him but when he came home ready to ask her she told him she was leaving again. He explained that he couldn’t wait this time. She understood and he watched her go. That led to his sour mood for several months. He did meet someone and they hit it off, he dated her but it was nothing serious. His heart wasn’t in it, he wanted the one thing he couldn’t have. His Danny. And Danny had Melissa, they seemed to be getting long fantastic, but it’s not want he wanted either. But, Steve was fighting with Danny about everything. Danny he couldn’t take if anymore, they were hardly talking and Steve was always setting him up with Lou or Kono. Leaving him with out his partner. Grace even realized there was a change, she didn’t get to see Uncle Steve to much. Every time she’d ask her father if they could go see him, he would always tell her that Steve was busy or he never called back. Truth is, Danny never tried. There was no point. He knew things where bad after the Governor had requested they see a therapist, but the therapist they were seeing said there wasn’t much she could do unless they started being honest with one another. And that’s when things started to get better. It took them some time to figure things out but they did start working together in therapy, Steve would tell Danny when something would hurt his feeling or bother him. Danny respect it and tried his best to be careful with his wording. Danny told Steve he felt like he didn’t really care about him, and just overlooked everything he said or did. Not taking his feelings, wants or needs into consideration. Never one confessed their feelings for one another, that would always hang over them. They got back into their normal banter, their regular hanging out. Things were getting normal again. They just spent time together, which is what was best of them. Keeping it neutral. 

 

2016

 

Steve sat out on the deck of the hotel room he had spent the weekend with Lynn, Danny and Melissa. Okay, he spent the weekend with Danny. He smiled to himself and played with the paper on his beer bottle. Steve was glad he and Danny had made up, that they were doing better than ever. Sure things got a little tense at times but he did honestly try to keep the peace. He looked across the horizon, the sun sinking lower into the water. They had just gotten back from dinner and Steve was worried, he took his affection to far with Danny that evening. He cussed himself out for rubbing his ear the way he did. 

“Hey….Steve….” Lynn’s voice came from next to him. 

Steve looked over and gave her a small smile. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were right there.”

“I’ve been here for the last five minutes, is something going on?” She asked. “You have been out of it all night.”

Steve sighed. He couldn’t keep dragging Lynn on like this. There was no point. He set his bottle down and looked at her in the eyes. “Lynn, I have affection for you….you know this right?”

“Steve…wait…hold on. I need you to know that, I already know.”

Steve was confused. “Know what?”

She smiled softly and bent down in front of him on her knees, she took his hands into hers. “I know you are in love with Danny…..Steve……for how long?”

Steve looked nervous. “A few years.”

“Oh Steve..” Lynn said softly. “….is that why you and him weren't getting long?”

Steve swallowed hard. “Yeah I think so. But he’s with Melissa and…I’m sorry…”

Lynn smiled. “I don’t think you are as alone as you think….I’m gonna head out okay? I’m gonna go see Elle, maybe you should think about talking honestly with Danny.”

“Do you hate me?”

She smiled and pulled Steve into a hug. “No, Steve. I don’t hate you. Call me soon, lets do dinner or something. Maybe go on another adventure.”

He almost sobbed but was able to hold it back. “Thank you Lynn.”

She smiled and stood up, heading back inside.

About ten minutes later Steve went back inside, he started to pace. Danny always tells Steve he never takes the time to do things right, but its not in his nature. He was trying to plan out in his head how to deal with this. He laid on the bed and heard a slam on the door next to his. Danny’s s door. He figured they were having a great time and didn’t think much of it, but two minutes later there was a knock on his door. He sat up, wide eyed. He stood up and practically ran to the door. He flung the door up and came face to face with Danny. Steve took a deep breath and opened the door father, letting Danny slip un under his arm. Steve closed the door and locked it. He turned around and found Danny no where. He got concerned and walked towards the bedroom, where he found Danny on the bed, sitting there. Hands on his thighs. His breathing was fast and hard. 

“Fuck.” Steve mumbled as he got down in front of Danny, placing his hands on top of Danny’s. “Are you having a panic attack?”

Danny didn’t say a work, he kept his eyes closed. 

“Danny, fuck…answer me or I will call 911 now!” Steve almost yelled. 

Danny opened his eyes and they were a dark blue, so blue Steve pulled back from Danny. “How long Steve?”

Steve scrunched up his face and shook his head. “How long what?”

“You fucking bastard……how long have you been in love with me?”

Oh that. Steve swallowed and looked down at their hands, Danny had managed to grip Steve’s hands back. “Three years, since the bomb that got us stuck.” Steve looked away. 

“Christ.” Danny moved his hands, Steve felt the lost instantly. He missed the warmth. “Afghanistan, when I got you rescued.”

“What?” Steve said looking into Danny’s eyes again, but stood up hands on his hips. He adjusted his pants like he always done and Danny bit his lip. “Danny….what?”

“I’m in love with you, you idiot!” Danny shouted as he stood up. 

Steve took a deep breath and ran into Danny, causing them to fly on top of the bed. Their breathing was harsh, they were inches away from lips. They had been in this position once before, about to kiss. Steve had his weight on top of Danny, he moved to adjust himself so he wasn’t crushing Danny. He framed Danny’s face with his hands and pushed his lips to Danny’s a spark flying through both of them. Making them both pull back, they smiled laughed and kissed again. Soft and sweet, Steve’s tongue swept across Danny’s lips, seeking permission for entrance. Danny opened his mouth to Steve, their tongues colliding, teeth scraping. The kiss turning dirty within seconds. Steve only stopped kissing Danny cause they both needed to breathe. 

“I need you.” Steve whispered. “I’m clean.”

Danny smiled. “Me too.”

Suddenly they both got up, Steve on his knees stripping his clothes off Danny only seconds behind him. “Lube?” He asked looking at Danny. 

“Shit….um….my room…”

“I’ll get it, you stay.” Steve jumped off the bed, picked the key card and got Danny’s fro his pants ran out of his room. 

Steve ran into Danny’s room where he went into the bedroom and found a bottle of lube, he got it and ran back out, almost running into a older couple in the process. He smiled softly. “I’m sorry.” He said before daring back into his room where he ran back in and found Danny on the bed, completely naked and slowly running his hand up and down his cock.“Danny…..” Steve swallowed hard. “….Danny….you are beautiful.”

Danny smiled and motioned for Steve to come closer.

Steve removed his pants and briefs and slowly, catlike climbed on the bed. He hovered over Danny and lowered his head to Danny’s neck, nipping and sucking right below his ear. Danny arched his back at Steve’s kisses and their rocks rubbed together. “Oh Fuck….” Steve moaned out. “….how uh…how do you want to…….fucking Christ.” Steve dropped his head on Danny’s forehead. 

“Shit….” Danny closed his eyes. “….Look babe, lets just do this okay? It feels good, we both…” Danny groaned as Steve’s hips slowly moved against Danny’s. “….uh….Just keep…fucking…shit…do that again.”

Steve and Danny met each other, thrust for thrust. Their lips attaching to whatever body part they could reach. Danny wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist, their breathing was harsh and neither one of them took their eyes off of one another. Sweat pouring off of both of them, their bodies shaking. Steve looked into Danny’s eyes and he kissed him, swollen lips, shared breaths. The love surrounding them was so strong, Steve couldn’t believe he was finally making love to Danny and they would never be apart, Danny wouldn’t ever leave him. And Danny, he had finally found someone that was going to love him for him. 

“Danny, can you come yet? I want to come together.” Steve panted out, sweat dripping from his forehead onto Danny’s. 

Danny nodded. “Yeah, Just….fuck….Now Steve….go…”

Danny and Steve yelled out one anothers name as their bodies started to shake from their high. Come had spilled out between them, painting them both in long ropes of white. Steve had collapsed on top of Danny, once his breathing had calmed some he rolled off of Danny and pulled him into his side, pushing his leg between Danny’s legs. Danny started to stir, he turned his head and looked at Steve in the eyes. 

”Why, why are you crying?” Danny asked wiping away the tears that were falling from his lovers eyes. 

Steve shook his head and buried his face in Danny’s neck. “I just….I love you so much Danny. I can’t believe we are doing this, finally after all of these years. We’ve been through so much, so much….Danny…..I can’t loose you. And I wont. I love you so much.”

Danny let tears escape from his eyes. “I love you too, Steve. So much.”

 

TWO DAYS LATER AT THE PALACE:

 

Steve walked in the offices after stopping off at Danny’s favorite bakery to get him his favorite coffee and sweet malasadas. He looked around and didn’t see anyone around. He smiled at the memory of last night, he and Danny had sex. Danny was nervous so he had Danny be the top, having Danny in him was heaven on earth. He smiled and shook his head, he didn’t see Danny in his office but he heard laughter int he break room. He turned and walked the short distance, he walked in and found Chin, Kono and Lou were sitting on the chairs at the table. Steve smiled as he walked in. “Hey guys.”

“Hey, what’s in the bag?” Kono asked, her eyes smiling. 

Steve shook his head. “Treat for Danny.”

“For me?” Danny said from behind Steve. 

Steve turned around and smiled at Danny, knowing that his looks weren’t being scene by the others. “Yeah, wanted to get your something special for the breakfast.”

Danny smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. “I already had breakfast….but I’ll take this.” He took the items from Steve. Steve blushed and turned around to get his own coffee.

Danny sat down at the table and crossed his legs. “So, we were talking about what now?”

“Why you are so damn happy…” Lou said. “…but maybe we should ask why boss man brought his husband breakfast? I haven't seen that happen in a long time.”

Steve choked on his coffee and turned around. “Hey. We worked everything out, we are actually doing pretty good.”

Danny nodded. “Yeah, he promised to stop being such a animal and I promised to not be so uptight.”

Steve looked at Danny and smiled, looking down at his coffee up. Danny sighed loudly and got up, he walked up to Steve and took his mug, setting it down on the table behind him. “What’s with you babe? Huh? Good mood seemed to go down the drain, what’s going on?” Danny looked at Steve. “Huh?”

Steve met Danny’s eyes. “I…uhh…”

Danny smiled. He knew what Steve needed in that moment. He needed conformation that things were okay between them still. Danny took Steve’s hands into his. They hadn’t talked about PDA, especially in the office but, really…who cares anymore? Danny smiled at Steve and pushed up on his toes, his lips touching Steve’s softly. Steve wrapped his arms around Danny, and kissed the shorter man back wish as much as he was being given. They pulled back and rested their heads together, Steve had his hands on Danny’s face. Danny had his hands wrapped in Steve’s shirt on his chest. “I love you Steve.”

Steve choked on a sob. “I love you too.”

Kono yelled and clapped her hands. Chin and Lou sat there dumbfounded. 

“Well, I guess we know why they are so happy.” Lou said. 

Chin laughed. “We should have known.” He pulled out a wad of cash from his pocket and placed it it Kono’s hand. Lou following suit. 

“You three bet on us?” Steve said. 

“Yup.” Kono said with a smile. “Actually, the Governor was in on it to, so I have to split this with him.”

Danny looked up at Steve. “Can we just go home for the day?”

Steve shook his head. “Yeah, lets go.” 

 

Danny and Steve went home and spent the entire day in bed, learning about one another in a different way. Finally able to express their feelings to each other, in a way they had been longing for all of these years.


End file.
